Staying in love

Is it possible? Yes.

Is it worth it? Yes again. 

Is it easy?Oh, hell no. 

You try to live each day of your life together; the best way you can. Try to be there for each other as much as possible, even when it's one of those days where you'd just rather retire into your own little bubble. 

Some days it works, some days it doesn't. 

You decide. A hundred things. For today, the future, tonight even. For yourselves, the family, the car, the rent. There's always a lot to decide. 

You learn to share. Everything. The good, the bad, the happy bits, the scary bits. You learn to remember that someone else's plans are your own too. That you sometimes need to make a quick call before you make weekend commitments. Some days you remember, some days you don't. 

You eat together. Whether it's the days when you're both too tired to head home and cook, so it's just a Macs dinner. Or one of those Fridays where you both spend hours in the kitchen, planning an elaborate pasta lunch. You eat together. That's a given. 

You laugh. Together. At each other. Sometimes politely so as not to make the other feel stupid. Sometimes loudly and from the belly, 'coz it's just that funny. Sometimes it's a soft shared giggle. An old memory, an inside joke. 

You care. About each other; all the time. When you're together and when you're not. When you're fighting and when you're not. It's like eating together. It's just a given.

You fight. Damn, do you fight. Loud, yelling, cold wars, frowns, throwing of cushions. You fight. Anyone who tells you they don't....ha ha. Then you make up...and you often forget why you fought in the first place. 

You pray. For your lives, your families, your dreams, your fears. Health, happiness, peace, everyone, each other. 

You enjoy so much. Little things and big moments. You enjoy time spent together, with family and with friends. You enjoy life. 

You want. more. More time, more love, more out of life, more for yourselves. This want...it comes from a good place. 

You believe in each other. 

You remember the good times and allow the bad times to get washed away from memory. You remember how you fell in love and why you chose to be together. You remember the promises you made and try to live up to them. 

And when you remember everything....you love. 

Always.

Celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary today. 

Celebrating staying in love. 

Six months ago today.

Leah turns 6 months old today.

I was a bit shocked when I realised how quickly time had raced by. I can hear all the moms I know telling me, " Enjoy this first year, it's over before you know it!" So true.

I still remember everything like it was yesterday...waking up at 4am on Jan 12th and thinking, "Ahh. So this is it, huh?"
Then waking up Dude, Mum and Dad. Everyone was up in a flash, all equally stressed and excited, but bless their hearts, displaying so much of calm. I made tea for everyone...my attempt to prove to myself that it was all good, no need to get all worked up, we've got it together! 

We drove to the hospital and heard an old Backstreet Boys song playing on the radio - Quit playing games with my heart. The daddy to be and I, burst out laughing, remembering a close friend who loves this particular boy band and can sing along to all of their songs and be SO out of tune, it's hilarious.
Random. 

We got to the hospital at about 5.45am and Leah was born at 12.27pm. She was perfect. 

We didn't know if we were having a girl or a boy, so when the nurse said, "Such a beautiful baby girl!" .... what a moment that was. Dude and I were lost for words, looking at each other and then at her. It's amazing -the kind of magic a baby can bring into the world.

Dude was everything I needed him to be. Down to the hand holding, singing Baa Baa Black Sheep to me (Yes. No clue why, but it made me laugh!), racing out to give mum and dad updates and racing back in, letting all our friends and family know what was happening, even as far as South Africa - he was the perfect Dad to be and I don't think he was even trying. 

Mum and Dad. So. Much. Love. 

In the days to come, Dude and I would continually be amazed at how our little girl was most comfortable with her Ganma and Ganpa. She'd be bringing the house down one minute and cooing away the minute she was with one of them,. Ganpa calling her his Princess and Ganma singing this to her, a song she still loves and laughs too.

Being grandparents fits them perfectly. Almost as much as being parents does. 

Leah changed everything. 

She's made us think of the future so differently, she's pushing us to become better people. Her smiles and laughs and playful yells...it's addictive. In the last six months, I've seen and experienced so much, I wouldn't know where to start. Yes, it's noisy, it's sleepless nights, it's walking up and down singing nursery rhymes you'd thought you'd forgotten.
But it's also splashing around at bath time, her slow fascination with colors, watching her meet people, her giggling when her Papa tickles her and a gazillion photographs. The peaks are so many, you just forget to notice the valleys. 

All I know is that life was good...but somehow, Leah's managed to make it better. 

Oh and the friend who sings the Backstreet Boys songs in that dreadful off key way, thinking he's the next Nick Carter? Leah's godfather. Maybe not so random after all!

I could have written this when she turned one; I know. But then, she wouldn't be six months old. Half a year. In New Mommy Land, that's a lot for a heart to handle.

Six months ago, the love of my life, became a father. The best parents in the universe, graduated with honors, to being grandparents.
Six months ago, my life changed. I had a daughter. I became a mama. I still have to repeat those words to myself sometimes.  Leah became ours, six months ago. Our dumpling of a blessing.

Happy Un-birthday sweetheart.
May you always see this world as the crazy Wonderland that it is.