Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Love Over Fear.

Being in the world right now kinda sucks.
Terrorist attacks taking place all over the world, and the death of innocence is all over the news. Corrupt politicians who think they can dictate what is meant to divide - colour, religion, sexual identity, gender...the list is endless.

When we were younger, we didn't worry as much - that's what parents were for. Growing up in the Middle East, the Gulf War was very 'real.' I have faded memories of mum and dad stocking up on tinned food, random power cuts and regular phone calls from family making sure we were doing ok.

But we're older now. We know more. We see more. We love more, so we fear more. That's beautiful and dangerous at the same time.

My husband and I are parents to a gorgeous little three year old. With her, every day is different. On some days her personality comes leaping out and we delight in it, but on others, we find ourselves holding back tears. Because I guess, it's what being a parent means....if it doesn't hurt sometimes, you probably aren't doing it right.
I often think about how we want her to be a good kid and have her heart in the right place. Love, respect, courage, generosity, compassion...all those words we associate with the beauty of every religion.

And then, I raise my eyes from my world of motherhood and take in the world around me...how big must I ask this little heart to be, when this is what she's going to be faced with?

The thought stayed with me and bothered me. A lot.
I watched a beautiful video earlier this week. And luckily, that stayed with me too. It was a reminder that in the bloody, hurtful, distressing battle between love and fear...love will always win.
You can watch it here.

So, to my little heart (and to hearts everywhere if you'd like)...here.

It will never make sense. 
There will always be hurt, there will always be pain, there will always be fear. For some reason - this is how things work, it's the way the world is designed. Perhaps it's meant to make things better in the long run, perhaps it's meant to teach us something ... we'll never really know and for longer than forever - people will debate this, just because they can. They will use social media, news channels, rallies and everything under the sun to support some, protest others, argue about who's supporting who...and it will be confusing. But sit back and think. How can you change this? For whom? Choose your battles wisely.

Be compassionate.
Hurt is hurt. Whether it's depression, a broken relationship, or an abusive marriage. Pain is pain. Whether it is war, earthquakes, or famine. If one country feels it - the world feels it. Do not give less of your heart...give as much as your heart can give. Whether it is money, prayers, or your time - just give. The person you help, may be the one who at that time - needs it most.

How much love is enough? 
It will never be enough for the world, my baby girl. Just as I don't know how much I love you (but it's a lot, trust me.) neither does the world know how much love it needs. But that can never stop us from giving. Our hearts have a beautiful magic to them...they're ever so tiny, but they grow enough to allow us to love. Always, just that little bit more, each time.

People, God, the universe...will keep doing things for you. A hot meal, a taxi ride when you need it most, a hug from a friend, a good game on court, a phone call...it will just keep coming. Always, always, always - choose to recognise it.

It isn't easy. 
Sometimes it will hurt. You will see things, and experience situations that will break you, and make you cry. There will be haters and name-callers. It will be exhausting to deal with. It will piss you off, even. But remember to think before you react. Again, choose your battles. If you need to fight, by all means. You come from a long line of fighters, and if you truly believe in it, and it's for all the right reasons - go for it. And you will always, quite miraculously, have help. Because others will love like you do, and they will find you. And it will always be worth it.

It will make you happy. 
At the end of it all, it will. I promise you. Your heart will be your own, and it will be at peace.
People tend to be scared of the word 'love'...perhaps it's a bit too real for them to handle. But learn to know it and it will not scare you. It is loyalty, respect, truth, bravery, faith, compassion and more. Love will set you free.

Damn, parenting really changes the way you see things. You re-learn how to do life.
Love over fear, my precious one. Always.

For my Mama, Cecilia. 
Who taught me love is what made us, and it was love that saved us. 
Happy 56th birthday <3 nbsp="">

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Positive people. And why they're a good idea.

If you don't understand positive people, here's how it works.
The world we live in, is unfortunately fuelled to a great extent, by negativity. It's easier to complain, gossip, look away, be selfish, nasty, self-centred, mean-spirited and all the rest.
Because that is what we see, that is what we do.
The positive folk amongst us, try to overcome this. And while most of everyone thinks it's a nothing effort, it comes naturally, or 'that's just the way they are' - No.
No one is 'naturally' like that.
You try. And try. And watch others who have mastered the art of living a positive, truly happy life. 
And you learn. 
You get tired and hurt sometimes. After all, you're up against a mountain of negativity, but you keep trying all the same and refuse to give up on the inherent goodness of people. And hopefully along the way - you teach someone else a thing or two as well.
It isn't about money, connections, luck, one-upmanship, flaunting good fortune, etc. It's about the seemingly little things - friendship, family, love, empathy, respect, laughter, faith and more. 
It's about doing all you can, with love.
You may call it good sense, the right attitude, logic, humanity - love is just easier. I sense that it's scarier to a lot of people too...but its really, just easier.
So those positive people I mentioned earlier? 
If you don't understand them, don't be in such a hurry to bring them down. When push comes to shove, they're the ones who'll be standing in your corner when you, or anyone else, needs them most.
Till later.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Two is such a big number.

Leah turned two today. 

I didn't think it was possible, but she's even more perfect now, than when she turned one. 

We brought in her birthday with balloons, singing, dancing and much noise and merriment. She was thrilled and kept taking a bow, something she has recently learnt to do, much to our delight. We cut a little cake and our little girl felt rather shy, bless her heart. She was yelling 'thank you, thank you!' at the top of her voice as the balloons bobbed around her and we sang the birthday song in all the languages we know. 
She blew out her own candles this year....for me, that was new. 

At bedtime, our knackered princess hugged her Gappy goodnight and as he blessed her, she said, in her matter of fact way, 'I'm very happy.' Ara and I were showered with kisses. She wanted only her Gammy to put her to bed. 

When and where, O little one, did you pick up all this? What were you watching, what did you think and how much did you learn when we didn't even know you were paying attention?! You amaze us every day with the little person you are becoming. We see this strong, loving, gentle, often stubborn personality, slowly coming through. You are a reflection of all the people who love you ever so much, and you are a testament of the love of a precious God, our special friend. 

Someday, I hope you will read this and smile. Your second birthday was just like every other day, but it was so special at the same time. Because you see joy in the little things, my princess. In wrapping paper and nonsense and family meals and tickle-time and playing hide and seek. 

I hope you always see the little things. And know, deep down in your heart, that they are really the big things. 

Happy birthday, my Leedoo. 
Here is the secret I have been whispering to you almost every day, for the past year. You rush to me, excited to hear it each time. And when I whisper it to you, you look at me and whoever else is around you, in complete glee. 

You are my favourite. 
You always will be. 
<3 div="" nbsp="">

Papa and I love you very, very much. You make us want to be better people every day. You remind us to look at the world with love. You are our everything. 
Two, to us...is such a big, big number.